Dear Abby: My sister demands that her pesky bird sit at the dinner table

Dear ABBY: My sister has a spooktacular bird that she insists on keeping near the dinner table when she invites guests over for dinner. Its ear-splitting squeak interferes with guests’ ability to carry on normal conversation, so I asked her if, in the future, she could place the bird in another room during dinner. She replied that the bird is a member of the family. I said, “So are the kids, but they’re not allowed to run around the dining table screaming when there’s company.”

This year, when we returned for another dinner, she pulled the bird and its cage even closer to the table and the person sitting next to her than last time. She apparently decided that the comfort of her guests is not as important as her closeness to the bird.

I don’t know how to handle this in the future when she ignores my comments. Apart from the noise, it is unattractive to have a birdcage next to a dinner table, or to have the host constantly distracted and the conversation interrupted. What is your advice? – NERVE OPERATED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NERVOUS: Since your advice was clearly not appreciated, the next time you are invited to a dinner party at your sister’s house, feel free to say that you are busy. The only bird on the table should be a nice roast chicken or a stuffed turkey.

Dear ABBY: I have my car detailed at a car wash near the beach. When I took my car there, I forgot to remove the spare change I keep for the parking meters and car washes. When I returned my car, about eight dollars in quarters and dollar bills were missing. Dimes, nickels and dimes were left behind. I emailed the owner the next day.

The owner called me, apologized and refunded the full price of my car’s detail. I told him that a refund was not necessary and that I just wanted him to know what had happened. Because I used the word “steal” in my email, he was offended. I answered the phone that the money was gone after I got my car. He said he wished me well and I replied, “Are you saying you don’t want to do business with me anymore?”

Now I feel bad. I did nothing wrong and only tried to alert him to a problem with his workers. As the saying goes, “No good deed goes unpunished.” What should I do now, or should I have done differently? – SUFFER FOR TRYING TO HELP

DEAR SUFFERING: So don’t let one bad apple spoil the barrel. Of course you should have notified the business owner of what happened. Comparing the price of the car wash for your $8 loss, he did his best to make things right.

If the conversation you had with him was civil, he probably wants you to continue doing business with him. Next time you go inside, make it a point to tone things down. In the future, remember to remove your valuables from the car when you leave.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.